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I think a lot about friends, flirting, and chemistry. Many people say a man and woman cannot be platonic friends; many people say that it depends on the man and woman. I believe it can be done, but I admit, the idea of?my husband having a bit too much chemistry with another woman makes me very nervous.
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- There is a thin line between friendly and flirting; there is a thin line between a relationship/friendship?and inappropriate chemistry.
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- The definition of friendly: On good or affectionate terms; kind and pleasant
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- The definition of flirt: behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but without serious intentions: "it amused him to flirt with her".
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- The definition of friendship: the quality or state of being friendly
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- The definition of relationship:?a particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with eachother; a romantic or sexual involvement
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- The definition of chemistry: mutual attraction or sympathy; rapport
- (informal) a reaction, taken to be instinctual, between two persons?
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Because I am a visual person, I will?try to convey just what I visualize when I think of how quickly things spiral out of control - from innocent chemistry, to?'friends', to emotional affair.
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Picture a man and woman -?I will call the man John, and the woman K.C.??John has been happily married for ten years. He?finds himself sitting across a dinner table with a co-worker named K.C?- it all began with chemistry. His female coworker happens to be attractive, laughs at all of his corny jokes, and has plenty of free time on her hands. She has no children or?husband to drain her of the energy and attention she graciously gives to John - a?married man.
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One day, K.C invites John to have dinner with her after work. John, who loves his wife beyond words, is reluctant. He stammers and smiles sheepishly, and declines. But K.C assures John that she has the utmost respect for the man, father, and husband?that?John is. K.C promises John that she only wants to have dinner with him as a friend.
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Deep down John senses that dinner could be a bad idea, but telephones his wife and tells her that he is having dinner with a co-worker.
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?Who?? his wife asks over?a noisey dishwasher, a blaring television, and two fussy? toddlers.
?Who?? John asks clearing his throat. Despite wanting to lie, John is upfront; he tells his wife that he is having dinner with a female co-worker.
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Much to his surprise, his wife trusts? him - after all, it is just dinner. This causes?John to feel even more reluctant and guilty. But against his better judgment, John goes to dinner with K.C.? And as he sits across from K.C, he cannot help but notice how attractive his 'friend' is.?John cannot help but notice the way K.C?s words said one thing, but the way she stared at him from across the table said something completely different.
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And when K.C suggests a new restaurant downtown for dinner the next day, John cannot help but agree to see her. His co-worker; his?friend...
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The following evening, John tells his wife that he is going out with a few buddies after work; he is really meeting K.C.? Just as he will meet with K.C for lunch and dinner every day for the next week.?All the while, John is convincing himself that there is nothing wrong with what he is doing; he is only friends with K.C, and he is only lying to protect his wife's feelings.
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Chemistry progressed from ?great connection/awesome friendship? to something deceitful, undeniable, intense, and now all-consuming. Emotional affairs are just as damaging as physically cheating on your partner - but people seem blind to the lines and boundaries of what is and is not appropriate.
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I have a few questions:
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How do you?feel about your significant other having close friends of the opposite sex??
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Do you believe women and men can be involved in a platonic friendship?
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Have you ever had trouble with the lines between friendly and overly-friendly?
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How do you keep yourself out of these situations?
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